Emptiness

          I watched as people pass by me in blurry shadows. They seemed to be moving at a fast pace, I can't catch up. I see no faces, no features, only emptiness. I stand still, feeling the numbness envelope me. No one seemed to realize me standing there. I felt invisible, like I didn't existed.
         I try to take a step forward, but it feels as if my feet was made of lead and glued to the ground. I can't move forward, I can't even move back, it's impossible!
        

          Thunder rumbled and the first drops of rain falls on my head. I looked up to the sky to see the heavens open up to rain down on me. Everyone around me runs for cover and soon I was the only one left standing in the poring rain. The coldness bites through my skin, as I hug my body tight. There was nowhere I could run for cover. I felt the emptiness in me as I shivered against the cold wind and pelting rain.

        



Why do I feel so alone in this world even though I am surrounded by people?
          I have friends and family but when I come home, and sit in my room I feel like I'm the only one left in this world.
         And sometimes I even feel alone when I'm out there with people. What is missing?

          Some say that when you have unaccomplished dreams then you'd feel like there's something missing in your life. I do have dreams that I haven't reached yet, so could that be the reason for my emptiness?
     Others say that you need to be in love or in a relationship so as to fill that hole in your heart. But, I was in love once, and even at that time, I still felt that something was missing - a part of me that's not complete. So it can't be that I'm missing love, after all I do have the love of my family and friends.
        

Do I have to reach my dreams to fill up the emptiness or do i search my soul for the answers?

       Only I hold the key for the answers that my heart asks. If I can only unlock the answers then I don't have to go around looking for the answers. Maybe one day the sun will shine ahead and give me the enlightenment that I need.
        Maybe then I might rid myself of this emptiness inside and find a more fulfilling life for me.

P.S. :- I Love You.....But...You Love Her...

 Dear (insert name here) ,

          I see you smiling there. How I wish that it was for me. The stars seemed so bright in your eyes, and I can see a reflection in it. Not of mine, but of hers. The girl that had brought the smile to your face. The girl who is now living my dream of being with you.

          I still remember the first time I saw you. I know I didn't fall for you at first sight, but my feelings gradually grew, and I started to like you without knowing you.

It may be just a crush but I liked what I saw in my dreams. Of us floating on purple clouds and swirling purple fog, living in a dream world where everything was perfect. A perfect dream that is all lost to me now.

      I never told you how I felt. I kept it a secret from you as I fear rejection. You were already accepting me as a friend and I didn't want to lose even a little contact with you.

And then she came around, the perfect young woman to fit your perfect little world. With her cute face, and childish antics, I could see the attraction in your eyes. You, whom I've seen sitting around moping, seemed to be alive with new senses. You were smiling often, you were joking, and you were completely smitten by this girl.

         I watched to see my dream slowly crumbling into a dust heap at my feet. I knew she was no competition for me. I knew that I had lost you to this little frolicking girl who could give you all the happiness that you needed.

        

           All I could do was watch from the sidelines, as if I was watching a big screen television. It all seemed unreal to me. I want to be happy for you, but my heart aches. I know I have to let you go for me to move on, but my eyes can't turn away. I need strength, I need hope, and I need to learn to let go.

         

         You don't see the tears falling behind the mask of happiness that I'm wearing in front of you. I'm hiding from the pain. I don't want you to know what I feel. I just want you to know that I am happy and that I think you belong with her as you both look perfect together. I would just leave it all and find my own way in this world. I will find the strength, though I don't know how, but I know there will be a  light to shine the path in front of me. I will always have faith, and belief that there's a rainbow for me.

      For now, I bid you farewell.

Love,

(insert name here)

p/s:- may you be blessed by the lord and live happily ever after.