On A Valentine's day

Cue Song:- Linkin Park's Valentine's day
  
      It's been almost a year. In five days it will be a year. A year since I've broken up with my first boyfriend. The first few months were horrible, really horrible and full of bitterness. I wake up everyday feeling hollow inside. I mean, who wouldn't feel that way? The guy you thought you could never live without is no longer in your life.
      We were together for almost two years ( if I'm not mistaken ), been friends before we hooked up. A few months into our relationship, I was transferred to another state for work and he was back here in my hometown. We somehow worked out a long-distance relationship of texting and calling each other almost everyday. Then he was transferred to another state too, somewhere south from where I was.
      The distance somehow didn't seem to be a problem for us at that point, as we could somehow work this thing out. Or so I thought. Then things started going downhill. We both became busy as workload seems to be taking a toll on us. And he was becoming too pushy for me, in many ways.
     We started arguing more, not a lot, not a scream-fest, but we seem to have more minor disagreements in comparison to before those times. The last straw was when the last time we met and I was in a terrible state. I was having a lot of pressure at work, pressure that made me resign and instead of being there for me like he always promised, he seemed vacantly oblivious of what I'm going through.
     He was more interested in the fact he'll never be able to visit the state that I was working in as he can't make trips there. Come on, how insensitive can a guy be?
     I was already having doubts on whether to continue this relationship or not, but I didn't have the guts to end it. I was like everyone else, thinking it will change, thinking he will change. But I guess I was hanging on to a thin thread that was about to crumble.
     After I moved back to my hometown he barely called or texted me. I didnt do the same too as I was busy figuring out what to do with my life then. I thought the problem between me and him could be solved later. Then Valentine's day came around the corner and guess what? He didnt even called me or text me to wish me. Every other couples in love would be planning something romantic and my own boyfriend could not even call me up and wish me. When he finally wished me in the evening, we had a little fight and we never texted each other or called each other again as I deliberated my next step.
     I decided to send him an email about what I felt and I told him that if he doesn't want to be in a relationship then it was best if we broke up. I actually thought that he'd try to make things better, as I had previously done once or twice break-up tactics and he always managed to coax me out of it. But I guessed this time he felt that we needed the space too and he said that he agreed with a breakup.
     I was devastated. Well, at that time, I was in a dilemma. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to be in a relationship or not, and I had expected him to want me to stay, instead he said that he feels cooped up in a relationship and he wants to lead a single life. There was no turning back.
     I was so afraid to let go, but finally it had happened. I had wanted it to last longer, but to think about prolonged agony and disappointment, it was a good thing it ended. I always thought I couldn't bear to live without him, but now, after a year, it's safe to say that I have always been and always will be able to be on my own.